January Blues and a trip to London

It's been a miserable week.  Christmas holidays have come to an abrupt end and it's back to mock examination week in school; stressed out teenager; grumpy commute-weary husband and piles of exam marking.  And the weather has been horrible. I usually deal with my low mood by getting out for a good walk with the dog.  So I set off on Wednesday morning with my neighbour on our usual route and we got absolutely drenched.  Some signs of Spring on the horizon though: I spotted this brave daffodil on my dog walk.

Last Saturday was a better day.  I spent it in London with a friend and our teenage daughters, catching the train early in the morning from Chester and returning at 10 pm.  The morning was spent on Oxford Street, shopping. Not really my idea of fun, but it was one of the main objectives of the trip for the teenagers with Christmas money to spend.  So we spend a long time in places like Topshop on Oxford Circus.  Many years ago I used to shop in that branch as, before training as a teacher, I worked briefly for Alitalia, the Italian airline which has now folded,  and its offices were just opposite.  We also went to Victoria's Secret, on New Bond Street, a truly awful place, looking like a night club with chandeliers, marble staircases and doormen insisting we put our dripping umbrellas in specially designed plastic bags lest we sully the overpriced undies on sale there.  My friend queued for 45 minutes to purchase a pair of the very ordinary looking knickers for her daughter, behind Spanish tourists spending £500!  My daughter, who is thankfully less brand conscious, and I escaped and went across the road to Fenwick's, a much classier store which hasn't changed that much since I worked London.

The day improved after that.  We walked down Regent Street, across Piccadilly and Leicester Square and ended up in Trafalgar Square.  Better than taking the tube, even it was a bit damp, as we could admire the lights and window shop.  Our friends had tickets to see 'The Nutcracker' at the Coliseum so they went there while Kate and I went to the National Gallery and the Portrait Gallery.  She wasn't that keen but indulged me as I had endured Topshop.  Got my Monet fix and then went next door and saw a fabulous portrait of Judy Dench who looked just like she was about to walk out of the frame.  We rested our weary legs in the restaurant on the top floor for a fairly pricey but tasty afternoon tea.  Great views over London though, as you can just about see in my not very good photograph. A good day out to mark the end of the holiday.

New Year, New Start

I have just attempted a mini blog makeover - nothing too technical but have at least updated the old photo and swapped to a simpler template.  It's been two years since I started the blog and since then have posted 128 times, mostly weekly, but at times at more random intervals.  I'd like to be a bit more organised in my approach to blogging and considered resolving to blog daily as ganching did last year.  But I don't think I can manage that, so this is the plan:

• A weekly round up on a Saturday or Sunday
• A monthly book post.  I joined in with the Year in Books last year and want to continue.
• Sign up to the 365 photo project. I'm not an expert photographer but like to document my life.
• Join in with other link ups such as the Scavenger Hunt. 

At the same time I'm giving up the habit of 23 years which is a daily journal/diary I usually write up at weekends. Recently it's become a chore, so I'm switching to a one line a day journal and a personal notebook in which I will write longer pieces as the mood takes me.

All this is very self indulgent and mainly for me and my obsession with recording my life.  It's good to have readers, though, even if I have little in the way of advice, recipes, or craft projects to offer. Thanks to all of you who visit and comment here. 

Here is photo number 1 for the year. New Year walk with photo shy daughter and dog.

Happy Christmas

So presents are wrapped; Last Minute Christmas Pudding steamed and ready to go and Chocolate Roulade is only a little singed around the edges.  Thought I'd take a moment to compose a brief post since I've only managed to blog once in December.  We're going to Scotland today to spend Christmas in Alloa with husband's family this year.  But I did see my family - three of my four sisters, my aunt and uncle and the English cousins the weekend before last so I don't mind.  Here we are in our sparkles celebrating my cousin's (centre) 50th birthday.  I bought a proper long dress for the occasion, the first one I've owned since the navy blue flowery one I used to wear for dances in the Woods Parish Hall with The Reflections playing.  We had a great night - my cousin's sons have a band; their dad also joined them to entertain us. They played quite a few old favourites as well as their own songs and I haven't danced so much in ages. 

I'm also including  a picture of my only attempt at Christmas craft this year  - a slightly wonky wreath made with gold sprayed dried hydrangeas - I'm quite proud of it really. 

I'm hoping to catch up with my favourite blogs over the holidays though I've noticed that quite a few I read have like me not been posting so often - busy times.  Happy Christmas to everyone who does visit here. 

The Year in Books: December 'Us' by David Nicholls

I've been neglecting the blog recently: it's three weeks since my last post.  I've been trying to think why as I'm not really any busier than usual.  Mainly it's because I've been hibernating!  I sleep much more when it's dark or even if I don't sleep I spend more time in bed as it's too cold to get up.  This is a good thing, I suppose, as I generally feel less stressed and grumpy after a good night's sleep, but I do miss the long quiet weekend mornings I get in summer when I wake at 6am and can blog undisturbed by the rest of the family.  But I'm up earlyish this morning and joining again with Laura at Circle of Pine Trees for the Year in Books, my favourite link up.




My November read was the Booker nominated 'Us' by David Nicholls, pictured above.  I had high hopes for this novel, having enjoyed 'One Day' a lot.  Reviews were good and the subject matter appealed to me as he was writing about the marriage a couple in their 50's with one teenage child.  Now I am not so narrow in my reading habits to simply want to read about people like me but, even so, the similarity to my own family situation did appeal.  I'd expected, and hoped for, a book which explored the complexity of a long term relationship from both sides.  Unfortunately I was disappointed, as it really doesn't do this at all.

'Us' is written from the perspective of Douglas Petersen whose wife announces in that she thinks their marriage has run its course and she intends to leave him when their son goes off to university.  He desperately wants to keep her and plans a long road trip to Europe for the family, a kind of Grand Tour, visiting key works of art in major cities, in the hope of saving their marriage.  Douglas is socially awkward and introverted whereas Connie is his opposite: attractive, amusing and extrovert, only marrying him in the first place because she needed more stability than her previous partner had offered.  Douglas also feels a little jealous of his wife's close relationship with their son, Albie.  He has a rather troubled relationship with his son and the book is as much about this as it is about the marriage.  Douglas tries hard as a parent, advising his son and doing the things he thinks he ought to do such as forcing him to eat his greens, doing his maths homework with him and encouraging him build Lego according to the instructions. He doesn't understand his son's distress when he 'helps' by gluing the completed Lego models together.  Albie turns out to be more a of free spirit with artistic leanings like his mother and he falls out spectacularly with his father during the trip, going off travelling with a girl he met busking.  Much of the book tells of Douglas's attempt to find his son and bring him home.

It was all very readable and you cannot help but sympathise for poor Douglas.  I was reminded a little of Harold Fry from Rachel Joyce's book.  My problem with it was that I expected something different.  As a portrait of a marriage in crisis it failed: it was too one-sided.  We don't get to know Connie at all: she seems too perfect and all the 'blame' for the relationship breakdown is heaped on Douglas.  There are much better portrayals of long term relationships in crisis in Ian McEwan's novels. Both 'Enduring Love' and 'The Child in Time'  do this well.   Also it just didn't ring true - Douglas and Connie are just too nice too each other when breaking up.  From what I have seen in observing friends and acquaintances going through divorce, it's rarely 'amicable'.

So for my last book of the year, I'm avoiding the best seller list and going for a book lots of people have recommended, 'A Prayer for Owen Meany' by John Irving.  I hope it's good as recent books I have chosen have failed to meet my expectations.

Bad Grammar

Last night I spent an hour or so reading my favourite blogs on my I-pad, adding the occasional comment, while sleepily watching tv at the same time.  This morning, I noticed that there are quite a few typo and spelling errors in these comments and, in one of them, I have muddled my homophones using 'to' instead of 'too'.  Somewhat ironic, since I spent quite a lot of time on Friday afternoon telling students about the importance of proof-reading their work to avoid errors just like this.

Looking back over my previous blog posts I can see other errors in spelling, punctuation and grammar (or SPaG as the exam boards call it) and am aware that I am setting myself up for criticism. How can I, as an English teacher, publish writing which contains errors?  Shouldn't I be ashamed of myself?  I've been asking myself these questions recently.  Perhaps I shouldn't blog at all, when I don't have time to construct careful sentences or proofread properly.  And I compare myself to other bloggers: two of my favourites write flawlessly, despite having English as an additional language.  Why can't I manage this?

Before half term our Year 10 students, including my daughter, completed something called the Spoken Language Unit for their GCSE.  Their task was to produce an essay in which they analysed examples of their own use of digital communication and considered whether they were similar to spoken language.  This meant collecting examples of their texts, Snapchats or other messages and commenting on them. A pointless, time-wasting activity in my opinion: I am not sorry this particular part of the English Language GCSE has been dumped in the latest rewrite.  However what emerged was quite interesting.  My daughter and her friends use a whole range of techniques to make their 'chats' similar to spoken language:  repeated !!! or ???, capital letters to suggest tone of voice and emojis to suggest gesture and facial expression.  She doesn't worry about sentence punctuation much but does make an effort to use the apostrophe distinguish between words like 'your' and 'you're'.  The important thing for her is communicating and the speed at which she does so astounds me: she can type accurately on the tiny I-phone keypad without looking.

And so, like her,  that's what I've decided to do: focus on communication. So forgive me, dear readers, for the occasional error.  This blog is a record my thoughts and experiences: it is not perfectly crafted prose. Blogger allows me to share these thoughts and experiences with others who can respond, if they wish, just as I can respond to their writing. I love being able to do this.  As E.M Forster said in his preface to Howard's End: 'only connect.'  That's what matters.

The Year in Books - November: Reading 'Best Sellers'

My October read was this Booker Prize nominated novel, We are All Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler.  I noticed yesterday that it is number 3 in the best selling paperback list published in 'The Times'.  In fact quite a few of my recent reads are on there (The Chimp Paradox, The Goldfinch) as well as my November choice Us by David Nicholls.  This has lead me to consider how much I am influenced by marketing in my choice of reading: the book promotions and displays in Chester's only bookshop, Waterstones; the reviews in the papers; the radio interviews; and even the appearances at literary festivals: all of this is marketing.  And even though I know this, I am still easily influenced. It makes me a bit uncomfortable: how will any new writers get on the shelves if booksellers fill them up with these heavily promoted books, often written by those who have already had a best seller? So I am going to make a deliberate effort to avoid such books in the future, basing more of my reading on recommendations like those on this link up The Year in Books by Laura at Circle of Pine Trees.

I quite enjoyed We Are Completely Beside Ourselves which I chose initially because of the intriguing title, though possibly also because of its position in the Waterstone's display.  (I didn't actually buy it from Waterstone's but did my usual library order.  It's usually either that or a Kindle purchase for me so I am guilty, I suppose, of contributing to the demise of independent bookshops and their support of new writers.)  It was another book which was really promising in the first few third, but then lost pace later on.  It's in the first person again, like many books I have read recently, and tells the story of a young woman who is the daughter of psycholgist parents and how the family breaks down because the father chooses to experiment with his own family. There's a major twist which I won't give away, but after that is revealed, I think, the book goes downhill and I felt sometimes that the writer's research was a bit intrusive - more scientific detail than I wanted. Perhaps others like this: I noticed it had a rave review in The Guardian. (Don't read this if you want to discover the twist yourself).

I have started Us, by David Nicholls.  It's about the marriage of a couple in their fifties whose son is about to go off to university and so interests me as I'm not so far from that stage.  But so far it seems depressingly similar to One Day: the main character is a kind of older version of Dexter,  Anyway - will reserve judgement until I read some more.  I have also tracked down the book I referred to in my last post and I have ordered it from the library.  It is 'Happiness by Design' by Paul Dolan.  I'll be reading this too.  And now I am off to rake up leaves in the garden, an activity which makes me happy.

Doing Too Much

Thank you to all those who commented on my previous post.  After a week off school I am now feeling more relaxed and on top of things.  I've been thinking about why I got myself into such a state: it's because I always end up taking on too much,  It's a mistake I make again and again. I agree to do things too easily, without thinking of the consequences for me and the rest of the family.  A recent example was editing our school magazine,  a demanding task which I ended up doing in evenings and at the weekend, snapping at anyone who interrupted me.  It has now been printed and distributed and I am pleased with the results.  But was it worth the collateral damage to my mental health and relationships at home?

This week there's been another example.  In the summer I was offered the opportunity to host a Boden clothes party.  I like Boden clothes - pricey but good quality - and I have bought a few items recently. So when the email arrived, I signed up for it and was offered a date in half term.  I liked the idea of hosting an all female party and trying on the clothes.  Of course, I didn't consider the downside - the huge effort required to set up all the clothes and pack them away again.  Did I enjoy it? Yes - it was lovely seeing my friends and I quite enjoyed transforming our living room into a clothes shop. Yet it really wasn't lot of fun getting up early yesterday morning to pack it all away. My daughter helped - she set up and put away the accessories you can see below.  But, because I was so busy, I got stressed and snappy with her again and angry words were exchanged; too many fluctuating hormones in our house at present.

I read this article in the press recently about happiness. I meant to cut it out and try to get hold of the book it was promoting but the paper got recycled. If anyone knows the book I am talking about, please tell me.  The basic idea was this: you conduct a happiness audit.  Write down all the things you do - work and leisure activities - and how long you spend and then award a score out of 10 for each activity according to how happy it makes you feel. I'm planning to this for the next month.  I hope I will be able to break the 'doing too much' habit and spend more time on what I really enjoy.  Now I am going to stop blogging and go for a walk, one thing that does make me happy - it's a beautiful autumn morning.

PS - Camera playing up. Photos not uploading.  No pics of Boden party pics then.  Am I going to waste precious daylight hours struggling with technology? No  - will walk dog instead. Here's a picture of us on my birthday in July when we found a Gruffalo on a walk in Delamere forest.  He knows how to be happy and doesn't do too much ( the dog, not the Gruffalo.)